Fatherhood: The Unexpected Ignorance

Fatherhood and its Miracle, pt. 1

Hello all. It has been a minute since I have last published a blog, so I figured what better way to come in with the story of my first few days of childhood? I hope that this blog is informative and lets people know what it really means to be a young blind father in this country. It’s a proud thing to be, but can also be difficult, circumstantially. The difficulties lie in many different areas, but let’s start from the beginning.

The day after mother’s day we had an idea when we entered the hospital that we could be in there for a minute. We guessed right. Due to the fact that Afiya’s blood pressure was a bit high, the hospital decided to keep us to induce the labor. We immediately contacted family and friends and let them know that this baby girl was going to be here real soon. The next few hours were filled with anticipation as we closely monitored the situation. At around six that evening, the doctor asked us if we would like to do a se section, since she wasn’t quite dilated enough. We decided not to; she intended to have the baby naturally. So, more anticipation for the next six hours. At around 12 midnight, all our visitors had departed, and I took a nap on a highly uncomfortable leather couch. At around two in the morning, she started experiencing some contractions, so the next couple of hours were rough. At one point, after breaking the water, we decided to do an emergency se section. Ah, this is where it all begins.

                So, at around 9:31 that morning on the eleventh of May, Alecia Kiana Kammerer was born. When I entered the operating room, it was as though my whole mind set had changed. The things that were once important to me no longer were. The things that were important to me at that moment were my wife laying on that operating table, and that unborn child.

                I must admit prior to hearing her cry for the first time, I ended up crying myself. It’s amazing how miraculous the introduction of new life is into the world. It lets you know despite everything else that is happening in the world, there is still hope for the future. She weighed in at 5 pounds, seven ounces; very beautiful.. The next few days featured a very unfortunate chain of events. Fresh out of labor and delivery, a social worker came and asked us how we take care of ourselves and how we pay bills. I simply told her that there are many methods of taking care of one self, it greatly depends on their preferences, but I take care of myself like anyone else would. I also stated that I pay bills with cash or credit card over the phone. She said, “Yeah, but how do you pay bills.” I then told her that my source of income was through Social Security, and that one day soon I planned to change all that. She said, “Well don’t worry, I ask everybody these questions.” Yeah, sure lady. I don’t understand why people try to be politically correct; it just makes things worse.

                So as time passed, we were told that we could not have the child in the room with us unless someone was sighted in the room. I knew that this would not work out for long. Firstly because you cannot put the system between a newborn child and her mother. It just doesn’t work. The system is inflexible because all is based off of book knowledge. There is no room for common sense or the natural mind to make decisions. We are held captive by our own knowledge, go figure. One thing I’ve found is that the system doesn’t always know. They could say one thing is good one day and change the next. Sometimes, it’s better just to use common sense.

                So, as the day wore on I see how it was tearing my wife apart. She could not see her child all because someone couldn’t understand that just because you can’t see, does not mean that you are unable to love or take care of your child. They let so many other slip through the cracks, but when you are blind, it is a no go. You have to fight tooth and nail to have a natural right that you have been called upon by God himself, to be a father. To be a mother.

                That evening, my wife finally lost it, and as the man I had no choice but to keep a cool head. I told the doctor that I understood the position, but I did not think that they were handling it in the best manner possible manner. Then I told her that I understood her position, my wife promptly told me that I didn’t. Ah, what can you do, because I really can’t. I didn’t bear her. She wasn’t attached to me for nine months and then someone decided they were going to dictate when and if we could have or see our child and how. But I did understand it from my standpoint. As a father, I understood, and it angered me into a praying rage if you will. Immediately I committed warfare on all the satanic ideas that were trying to break up my family. Of course, if you were looking at it from their side of the fence, you may have said, they mean well. They’re just trying to do their job. Here is my reply to that. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

                It got so bad that evening that my mother in-law ended up spending the night with us at the hospital, just so my wife could have the right that any other mother would, to see her child. To be with our child. To bond with our child. To hold her.

                You know people have no confidence in you at all when you are holding your child and they casually walk up to you and take the child from your arms. Don’t say who they are or what they are doing.. Don’t ask first, just take and do as they want. I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate what they had done right for us. They hospitalized my wife and they made sure that our baby was healthy, but it’s how you do things that matters. I’m just glad when we got the discharge papers and got outta there. I will say this much, though. The nurses on duty stood of on our behalf with the pediatricians and they eventually talked to us. One was cool with us, but not the other, but oh well. Shouts out to Miss Katie and Miss Twyla for standing up for us. Shouts out to my mother in-law for sticking it out with us. Shouts out to God for bringing us through.

Hope ya’ll enjoyed this blog and I hope that it made you see it from a blind parent’s perspective. Ad a side note, social services took a child from a blind couple in Missouri; they’re still fighting to get their child back. I truly believe that if the system had their way, all blind people would be sterilized. And this case in Missouri is recent.

All right, enough ranting.

She’s two months now, growing and learning every day, and she’s been a blessing to us and we love her very much.


~ by DJ GFire on July 10, 2010.

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